Should A Wannabe Influencer Friend Stop Using People for Content?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?