This Floating Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the TV landscape of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. From cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final season began, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this drama's problems. The subject of a very rare no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the problems. The laughably leaden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate parade of cliches? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Instead, the experience was akin to reading a sales brochure. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from strangely breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.